With the big deal they've made about this... I figured I should check it out. It's veritable yuck fest. Ok so maybe not. Maybe, instead, it's a lame, poorly written, piece of political humor.



Subject: SECRET SECRET......
I have managed to obtain this from secret sources:

OFFICIAL 2004 DNC CONVENTION PROGRAM

6:00pm - Opening flag burning ceremony.

6:30pm - Anti-war rally no. 1.

6:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

7:00pm - Tribute theme to France.

7:10pm - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.

7:20pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:25pm - Tribute theme to Spain.

7:45pm - Anti-war rally no. 2. (Moderated by Michael Moore)

8:00pm - John Kerry presents one side of the issues

8:25pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:30pm - Terrorist appeasement workshop.

9:00pm - Gay marriage ceremony.

9:30pm - * Intermission *

10:00pm - Flag burning ceremony no. 2.

10:15pm - Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.

10:30pm - Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'

10:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

10:50pm - Pledge of allegiance to the UN.

11:00pm - Double gay marriage ceremony.

11:15pm - Maximizing Welfare workshop.

11:20pm - John Kerry presents the other side of the issues

11:30pm - 'Free Saddam' pep rally.

11:59pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

12:00am - Nomination of Democrat candidate.